| Last night I got three booty calls from a friend of mine.
Jeanny was on the phone with me so it was pretty awkward to have to tell my fiance to HOLD I got a call.
When I answered the phone...
All I heard was background noise.
So I told Jeanny, I think I just got a booty call.
Someone was butt dialing me! Check your phones people!
The key lock is your friend =)
~Oneazn2nv |
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| Michelle: Hey Phil, do you have any bottled water? Phil: Yeah sure... Oh wait! Michelle: What? Phil: You should try the tap water here. Michelle: Why? Phil: Just try it you'll like it... It tastes like crystal Geyser Michelle: Really? Okay. Phil: Just a sec... Here you go. Michelle: mm hmm... Phil: See? What does it taste like? Michelle: Soapy water... Phil: Oh OOPS! |
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| Lately it seems like I've had to deal with a lot of people who make me wonder how they were able to grow up without getting shot. I mean seriously... You really shouldn't have said that... It was a stupid thing to do. You're being a social Nincumpoop.
A social nincumpoop is someone who cannot socially interact with people in a normal relational manner. They say things that shouldn't be said... out loud or ever. They do things that only a bone head would do. They have no sense of tact. And I'm not talking about those who have actual medical conditions, I'm talking about your regular average Sam (boy or girl you choose).
Okay okay, so maybe I am being harsh. I mean... I've done and said some pretty stupid things too right? Maybe I'm a Social Nincumpoop...
Well, here are the top 10 bone headed things I've done or said that classify me as a Social Nincumpoop. For those who I've offended... I am truly sorry.
10. I once said to my girlfriend who was emotionally upset "Can I call you back? I'm in an important guild run". (Tip: World of Warcraft is NOT your friend buddy.)
9. A girl once asked me "did you call me a ..." (won't repeat it). Not remembering and not wanting to look stupid I said "Yeah! And?". (Tip: Whenever anyone angrily asks you if you said something the reply is always flat out "NO!")
8. A group of guys were mocking me and my friends playing tennis. I Shouted "Then come here!" and they did... and I got me and my brother a bloody nose. (Instant Karma)
7. I once got into a fight with a bully who I beat up, and then I turned around and bullied another kid that same day... (I still hate myself for that to this day I've always hated bullies)
6. I once went to a broadway musical with a girl and she paid for everything. I didn't even ask to pay for my own ticket. (Sorry honey! She'll never let me live that one down)
5. I told a group of bullies were going to pick on me but started walking away I said that they were "stupid" and they promply turned around and kicked my butt.
4. I asked a girl why she wore "maternity" shirts you're not pregnant are you? (the ones that look like tiny dresses). To which she promptly replied "You're an old balding Fat man!" (well deserved)
3. My sister had a bad relationship with a guy and we ran into him at the coffee shop. I decided to stop and make small talk... (I'm surprised my sister still talks to me)
2. I once told a girl I liked her after my best friend at the time told her that he liked her. (Smart... real smart...)
1. I once asked a girl I liked "If I asked you to the prom would you go with me." to which she answered "Yes"... I never asked her to the prom. (Yeah, Karma please be lenient)
What are your top 10 social nincumpoop moments?
~Oneazn2nv
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| So what’s the big deal about Swine Flu? The CDC tends to think this is the next thing to be hyped up about… Or maybe another ticket for them to get more funding. We all remember the “outbreaks” over the years and frankly we’re probably all sick of hearing about these sicknesses that never amount to anything. Or maybe, they are correct and by this time next month, millions will have died to a new swine flu! Yeah sure that will happen… when pigs fly. The CDC released some tips on how you can “stay healthy” from the swine flu… Here they are: from http://www.cdc.gov/swineflu/ - Stay informed. This website will be updated regularly as information becomes available.
- Influenza is thought to spread mainly person-to-person through coughing or sneezing of infected people.
- Take everyday actions to stay healthy.
- Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when you cough or sneeze. Throw the tissue in the trash after you use it.
- Wash your hands often with soap and water, especially after you cough or sneeze. Alcohol-based hands cleaners are also effective.
- Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth. Germs spread that way.
- Stay home if you get sick. CDC recommends that you stay home from work or school and limit contact with others to keep from infecting them.
- Follow public health advice regarding school closures, avoiding crowds and other social distancing measures.
- Develop a family emergency plan as a precaution. This should include storing a supply of food, medicines, facemasks, alcohol-based hand rubs and other essential supplies.
- Call 1-800-CDC-INFO for more information.
It’s funny how almost all of these “tips” are things you do when you ARE sick with the swine flu… So here are my three tips on how to avoid the swine flu this season: - Wash your hands before you eat anything.
- Don’t touch the railing or your face EVER!
- Wear a face mask.
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Lifetime