June 8, 2005
-
And here’s my cure
for cancer… Laugh more.For world hunger…
Stop eating Mcdonalds.For world peace…
laugh more.
And now, PresentingThe adventures of
Phil and Jae.
With special
appearances from Phil Chen, Jon Passantino, Jon’s mom, Jon’s Grandmother Gumby…
And so on…(Disclaimer: These
conversations may have only happened in my sick twisted mind.)(At the Apartment)
Jae: It’s 2:00 PM lets go bud.
Phil: Sweet right on time. Lets do it.
Jae: Awe crap. I gotta take a dump.
Phil: You’re kidding right?
Jae: No. I’m not.
Phil: Geeze…
Jae: It’s 2:15 PM Lets go bud.
Phil: Sweet We can still make it. Lets do it.
Jae: Awe crap. I’m sooo hungry.
Phil: You’re kidding right?
Jae: No. Lets stop by
and get some food.Phil: Geeze...
(On the road. Road…
Row Add… it starts to sound weird if you keep saying it…)Jae: I can’t believe there’s traffic on 880 on a SATURDAY!
Phil: I know! Go home people!
Jae: At least we left on time… haha…
Phil: I’ll kill you Jae.
Jae: I can’t believe there’s traffic on 580 on a SATURDAY!
Phil: I know! Go home people! (Fire engine passes Phil and
Jae on the left shoulder)Jae: I gotta piss.
Phil: I’ll kill you Jae.
Jae: Traffic in
Phil: I’ll kill you Jae. Are you sure it was 6.9 miles to
the next street?Jae: Yeah… I think we passed it.
Phil: Yeah I think so too.
I’ll just turn the car around…Jae: I’m getting a text message from Jon. She’s walking down the aisle.
Phil: Tell him to stall the wedding!
Jae: haha “if there’s any reason why these two shall not be
wed, Speak now or forever hold your peace”Phil: have him stand up!
Jae: And say “I have my reasons!” haha Dang I can’t believe we’re late.
Phil: I’ll kill you Jae.
(At the wedding,
outdoors with mosquitoes blood suckers… fitting.)(At the wedding)
Jon: I tried to save you guys some seats but these A-holes
sat down and I can’t really say “you can’t sit there”…Jae: Don’t worry about it. We’ll just grab some of those
chairs over there and bring them here. Where’s the restroom?Claire: I need to use the restroom too. I think they’re over
there. (Jae and Claire go to the restroom)Jon’s Mom: Oh hey Phil I’m so glad to see you made it.
Phil: Hey Vicky. Good
to see you. How are the twins?Jon’s Mom: Please… call me Jon’s Mom. The twins are doing
fine.Jon: (interjecting) you remember my Gumby (grandmother) right?
Gumby: Do you still live in that pigsty?
Phil: No, we’ve upgraded to a nuclear waste dump.
Gumby: Oh? That’s nice.
Jon: It wasn’t that dirty Gumby.
Best man #2: I can’t believe Jaime and Nick could give the
mic to anyone and decided to give it to an idiot.Jon: We really kept the place pretty clean.
Best man #2: I mean of all the people. To hand me the mic?
Jon: We just needed a shampoo for the rug. (Getting louder)
MAN! We had good times in that apartment! (Obnoxiously loud) Did you hear what
Caleb is doing!?Gumby: Jon! Shut up.
Jon: He’s selling books in
Gumby: Hey. Be quiet.
Jon: Max made 25k in
so Caleb thinks he’s going to do the same thing (Makes a loud weird noise that
resembles laughter)Gumby: Dumbass!
Phil: Oh my gosh, did your grandmother just call you a
Dumbass? Ha ha.Jon: That’s my Gumby.
Jon’s Mom: They’re calling up people from the tables… lets
get some food…Phil: Jae, we gotta leave at 7:15 PM at the latest.
Jae: Okay…
(Speaking to the –“oh
so lovely” bride -wearing a white dress. If anyone deserves to wear a white
dress, it’s Jaime.)Phil: Hey Jaime!
Jaime: Oh my gosh! Phil… Jae… I’m glad you both made it.
Phil: Sorry we were late.
Jaime: That’s okay, I’m just glad you were able to come out.
Jae: Yeah, and we have to go in like 2 hours.
Jaime: Awe, really?
Phil: Yeah.
Jaime: What for?
Jae: He’s got a show tonight.
Jaime: Oh cool! I’m so glad you guys came out. Have fun at
your show.(Later on)
Gumby: This meat is terrible. They should have gone with some Japanese
food.Jon: That’s my grandmother folks!
Gumby: (to Phil) Do you want to finish this for me?
Phil: After that presentation? No thanks.
Gumby: (to Mike) Where are you from?
Mike: I’m from
JoseGumby: Are you Mexican?
Mike: Yes.
Gumby: Did you come here legally?
Mike: Of course.
Gumby: Hey everyone. I like this guy. He’s Mexican but came
here legally.Jon: Thanks Gumby. Now be quiet.
Jon’s Mom: Would you talk to your grandmother that way Phil?
Phil: What?
Jon’s Mom: Gumby sent Jon some money for graduation. Do you
know what Jon sent in the thank you card?Phil: I give up.
Jon’s Mom: He said “Thank you for the money Gumby. I’ll use
it towards Claire’s Abortion.”Jon: Yep that’s what I said. Ha ha.
Gumby: So I sent him more money! Well… not really, but he
did say that.Phil: Awe man it’s 7:15 PM We gotta run.
Jae: Wait! We gotta give Jaime her wedding present.
Phil: Okay… Make it quick.
Jae: Lets sign the card. (Stops to think about what to
write… Forgets to start again)
Phil: Here, let me do it first then. (signs the card) okay… (Hands the card back to Jae).Jae: Hm… I had something to write, but I forgot how to word
it.Phil: Geeze Just sign the card. (7:25 PM)
Jae: Okay.
Phil: Lets go man lets go lets go lets go! (7:30 PM)
Jae: Aaalriiiiiiiiiigggggghhht!!! Geeze (finishes signing
the card takes the card and present and puts it on the table with all the
others.) Okay You ready to go?Phil: Whew, We’ll still make it if we leave now. Lets do it.
Jae: Okay. Just let me say bye to Jon.
Phil: You’re kidding right?
Jae: It’ll only take a second.
Phil: Geeze…
(On the way back to
SF. Navigating through the twilight zone)Phil: I think we missed a turn.
Jae: I think we’re headed in the right direction.
(30 minutes later)
Phil:
supposed to be heading towardsJae: Maybe we’re going in the wrong direction.
Phil: Let me call my dad. (ring ring) Hey dad, I’m trying to get to SF from
Dad: Okay make sure you’re headed towards the sun.
Phil: Oh okay… that would be in the other direction… Thanks
dad.Dad: No problem. (See dads are useful)
Phil: Ah there’s the 120. And a sign that says
(turns left)(30 minutes later)
Jae: uh Phil, Why are we still in
Phil: You’re kidding me right?
Jae: We’re going the wrong way.
(Sign reads “next exit
Phil: I’ll kill! Oh my gosh!... I’m SO late!
(ring ring)
Phil: Hey Phil.
Phil Chen: Whats up Josh.
Phil: I have some bad news. I’m still in
We got lost and went the wrong way.Phil Chen: Get here as soon as you can. There’s nothing we
can do I guess.Phil: Stall! Haha
Phil Chen: We should be fine, We’re running a little late
here too.Phil: Thanks man talk to you later.
Jae: We’ve got plenty of time. 1 hour and 15 minutes right?
Phil: Yeah.
Jae: I lied it’ll take us at least 1 hour and 45 minutes.Phil: I’ll kill you jae.
Jae: Haha don’t worry man.
(At the show Stereo
Star FM and 8 past live!)Jae: This sounds like Greenday.
Phil: Yep.
Jae: Facial expressions and everything.
Phil: Yep.
Jae: I told you you’d get here on time.
Phil: I’ll kill you Jae…
~Oneazn2nv. (don't hit the back button... don't hit the back button.)
Comments (5)
jae is such a cool name.
is he dead?
im having a slow start on koc... it's just not working... the clicker thing. my compy sucks and like, ti's not loading properly and all... sorry... i'll have to find a way later to grow in military size.
b
dads ARE useful!
headed towards the sun, how cute =P
Comments are closed.